I’m a failure

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I’m a failure. It’s incontrovertible, I’ve given up. I’ll never win the lottery.

Entrepreneurs are a rare breed. We think differently, we create, we hustle and we plot. Who among us hasn’t stood looking at the lotto and wished ever so desperately that it were that easy. Boom, you’re rich. Would you like it as a lump sum or an annuity sir? Why thank you, I’ll take the lump sum, I know what to do with it.

Sadly, I’m a failure. I even gave up on the idea of buying tickets. Yet, every few weeks some Shmuck with dumb luck or a random selection of numbers gets given a new life. “Why, why not just buy a ticket” I berate myself. “C’mon, if you don’t try you won’t win. Are you saying you’re not as lucky or as deserving? C’mon Jonathan, buy a fucking ticket!”

Staring at myself occasionally shaving, I admit I give this far more consideration than it deserves. Hey, it’s my thought process…Tourette’s and ADD are a powerful combination, so don’t judge me.

Anyway, I know why I refuse to buy a ticket. Aside from the obvious fact that you have better odds ¬†filling a bath with rice then reaching in and pulling one red painted grain out, aside from that, it’s because I value my money.
Not just that, I value what it means to earn my money, I don’t see myself as a victim looking to escape.

There’s always more money to be made, we don’t need a lottery, we need a life. Desperately lining up week after week pinning your hopes on some random draw is far more soul crushing to me than the creative, often chaotic roller coaster life of an entrepreneur.

I back myself every time, and so should you.